A safe space for parents and carers of SEND children to tell the truth about their experience in mainstream and EOTAS education — and for those truths to become evidence for legislative change.
We believe that transparency leads to accountability.
Every child deserves the right support. Every parent deserves to be heard.
Across the UK, families are fighting silent battles with Local Authorities.
Here, those stories are not erased. Here, those stories become data.
Samuels Story
My name is Michelle, and I am writing to you as a single mother and carer for my son, Samuel, who is now 13. Samuel was diagnosed as autistic at the age of five, with suspected ADHD, and this marked the beginning of a long and painful journey through our education system — a journey which has left him traumatised, without proper education, and with a future that feels stolen from him.
From preschool onwards it was clear that Samuel was Diverse. By four it was recognised by his school that he needed assessments, and by five he had his autism diagnosis. An EHCP was eventually secured, but from the beginning the reality was inconsistent and damaging. At his infant school, he was never given the stable one-to-one support he needed. Pressure was constantly placed on him to “fit in,” to focus and stand still, rather than the school adapting to his needs. By the age of six, Samuel had a complete mental breakdown.
Every morning, I was forced to hand him over screaming, told it was separation issues, when in reality he was being placed in an environment that did not understand him. At home, his distress was unbearable — meltdowns, head-banging, overwhelming fear, nights of no sleep, repeatedly asking me if he was going to die. Eventually a doctor signed him off school completely at six and a half, declaring he was in severe distress. What followed was a year of virtual abandonment. The school offered nothing but the occasional phone call and the delivery of homework. There were no safety checks, no support, no compassion.
When he later attempted to return to primary school, things were no better. Samuel was given only an hour and a half a day, with staff who continually failed to understand the signs of his overwhelm. Their response was to restrain him, shout at him, lock him in rooms and corridors, and belittle him when he became distressed. I witnessed staff mocking him over something as simple as getting a teacher’s name wrong. At eight years old, I finally withdrew him again, unable to allow any further harm.
By nine, under advice from Derbyshire County Council’s SEND team, I applied for EOTAS (Education Otherwise Than At School). This led to a year-long battle with the local authority, where I had to prove — against endless resistance — that no school could meet his needs. Twenty-five schools, both local authority and independent, confirmed they could not support him. That entire year Samuel received no education at all, despite holding a legally binding EHCP. I endured relentless and confusing communication from the authority, despite repeatedly explaining my own diagnoses of autism and ADHD, and my need for clear and factual correspondence. It felt like deliberate obstruction.
Eventually, the appeal tribunal agreed: Samuel required a bespoke EOTAS package. His EHCP was updated to include English, Maths, Science, Speech and Language Therapy (SLT), Occupational Therapy (OT), Forest School, and MindJam (a therapeutic mentoring programme through gaming). On paper, it looked like a plan. In reality, most of it never happened.
He receives English and Maths for four hours a week, and later Forest School which eventually increased to four hours. His SLT provision lasted only months before the provider withdrew, and no replacement has been arranged for nearly two years. He has never received the OT he was promised. Science provision was written in but never delivered. His creative provision was supposed to grow but has been limited because no Personal Assistant has ever been put in place, despite repeated promises.
Samuel’s provisions have been insufficient throughout the last two years of EOTAS. He is now 13, and because he has not had the required Speech and Language Therapy for nearly two years, and has had no Occupational Therapy at all, he is now mentally, emotionally and physically unable to sit formal exams. These therapies were essential to support his communication, his emotional regulation, his confidence and his self-esteem. Without them, he has been left unable to cope with the demands, expectations and preparation required for exams that children are usually expected to take at 16.
The result is a patchwork of support, carried largely by individuals who have gone above and beyond their remit. His English and Maths tutor, Claire, has been forced to fill gaps with life skills and support beyond her official role. Yet still, much of Samuel’s education has been lost.
Over the years I have made countless complaints. Each one upheld. Each one acknowledging failure. And yet nothing changes. The Ombudsman is now considering my case, but even this process drags on. Samuel is 13. His EHCP is still worded for a school setting despite him being out of school for years. Reviews are left to sit in limbo. Provisions are finalised on paper but not delivered in practice. I have emails ignored, officers unassigned, and forms sent to me as if I were managing a personal budget I do not hold.
Through all of this, Samuel has grown into a young teenager whose life has been permanently altered by failures not of his own making. He lives with anxiety as a constant. His academic learning is stunted, his future prospects limited, and his trust in adults deeply damaged. I have had to manage his mental health every day for years, watching a once happy child transformed by neglect and systemic failure into someone who struggles simply to feel safe in the world.
The toll on me as his mother has been immense. I have fought year after year, alone, at great cost to my own health and wellbeing. I have two older children, now 27 and 33, who have seen the strain this has placed on our entire family — the relationships missed, the constant worry, the endless battles with faceless systems that never seem to listen.
This is not just about my son. This is about a systemic, long-term failure that affects countless families like mine. It is not one provision overlooked, or one EHCP delayed. It is a pattern of neglect, avoidance, and dismissal that leaves diverse children and their families in crisis.
I am writing to you not because I expect miracles, but because this cannot continue to go unheard. Somebody must take this to government level. Somebody must push for accountability and real change. Children like Samuel deserve better than to be written off. Families like mine deserve better than to be crushed by a system that is supposed to support us.
Thank you for taking the time to hear our story.
Michelle
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